Saturday, October 2, 2010

...then he shot himself

Imagine being 19 again…

There was a guy, considerably older than I was, who was stalking me. The term “stalking” wasn’t used back then. But that is certainly what it was. We worked together in the military. I was military police and he was an investigator. He followed me around where I worked. Every. single. day. I felt like I was under surveillance. He would send me a bouquet of roses almost every day.
One night about midnight, he came to the guard shack I was working and started chatting with me. At one point, he just said “I love you and can’t live without you” and pulled out his gun and shot himself right in front of me.
Everything seemed to move in slow motion after that point. He slumped over the steering wheel of the cobalt blue sedan. I could see the bloody exit wound on his back. His right arm was limply splayed over the center console. Blood was splattered everywhere. When the bullet exited his back it pierced the upholstery of the drivers seat, right at a stitched seam.
This really messed me up as you can imagine. I was actually under investigation for the shooting, because of bizarre circumstances that surrounded the incident. He did live. It took years to heal from this attempted suicide that happened in front of my eyes.
Fast forward to many years later. There was a young girl at youth group, who was going through some very difficult times and wasn’t talking about what was wrong. Finally one night on the phone I cornered her and told her she had to tell what was going on.
She said “I can’t tell, no one could understand. Have you every seen someone try to commit suicide?””
Well, I could truthfully answer, “Yes I have, let’s talk about it”.
No human mind could have ever foreseen that conversation. Only God In His infinite wisdom, knew the truth.
So, who am I? Just another face you see everyday.

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it 
the seed of an equal or greater benefit."
Napoleon Hill

original post: 031608 (CruX, the heart of the matter)
update: 100210
I just finished reading the story of Joseph again (Genesis 37-50) and I was reminded of one of my favorite sayings. "In every adversity; there is a seed of equal of greater benefit." 
That reminded me of this story from my past.
One of the things I learned early on in life was to simply trust God in adversities.
We are not promised a perfect life. But He does work things out for our good.
Why not read the story of Joseph this weekend. How has God been there for you after times of adversity? Let's talk about it.
Now I am going to go figure out how I am going to incorporate the story of Joseph into the stage design this weekend.

Genesis 50:(NIV) 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

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